Toilet Training Torture 🚽😫

To say I dreaded toilet training was an understatement, I avoided it at all costs. I always naively thought, hoped, that my eldest would self train. This is what my extensive online research had, falsely, led me to believe. However the ever mounting pressure to get him out of nappies and “dry” forced me to suck it up and get on with it.

The first day in “big boy pants” was a disaster, we must have gone through 10 pairs of pants and trousers. I spent a signifant part of my day scrubbing pee out of my lounge carpet. The day culminated with him peeing all over my foot and up my leg, by this point I was done and shoved him in pull ups ready for bed.

Feeling deflated I spent the evening frantically researching the internet to see if our experience was “normal”. Apparently it was but day 2 would be much better, in fact he would be dry by the end of the day according to many parenting experts!

Can I just say that this information and advice is utter bullshit! And that I no longer believe anything I read online. Day 2 and in fact 3 were even worse than Day 1 as we had pooing behind the sofa thrown into the mix.

Can I just point out how hard it is to smile and breezily reassure your toddler that “accidents happen and everyone poos behind the sofa at some point 🙄”. By the end of Day 3 I’m frazzled and pretty much done. I wanted to give up and I didnt really care if he wore nappies until he was 10!

This is where nursery came to my rescue the next day. They reassured me and encouraged me to keep going, they were confident that he would get it. And you know what, they were right.

Within a week he was dry during the day with the odd accident. I couldn’t believe it! Don’t get me wrong, it’s still early days and I still have to carry a Buzz Lightyear  toilet seat with me everywhere I go (as well as multiple pairs of pants and trousers) but we are officially nappy free and it’s a good feeling.

I no longer feel the need to police his bowel habits like some pee obsessed weirdo. Although I hit a new parenting low yesterday and this is where my own anatomy failed me. As I popped him on the toilet I didn’t realise he wasn’t “tucked” in properly until he sprayed wee all over me, narrowly missing my face! Nothing says parenting like being peed on…


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